A Father-Son Relationship

When I was a kid, I had a fear of my father. Because on my every mischief or misconduct, mummy used to say, "Papa se keh doongi...phir dekhna!" I am sure, not only my mother but many mothers also had this 'weapon' of complaining about the mischief of kids to the fathers. Actually fathers were not the ones to get afraid of, but mothers created this thinking in the innocent minds of their kids. I was one of them who built an 'F for Father-F for Fear' image in my mind as I found my father to be a bit short-tempered at that time. So I used to be very obedient in front of him, which I am originally too, but I showed a bit extra sincerity to him. Which in turn resulted in my not talking to him much. Often he would come late at night because of his work and business, by the time I had already slept. And sometimes in the morning, without disturbing his sleep I would get ready and go to school. Thus we didn't get time to sit together and talk. It was only after his heart surgery that he started getting up early and went for his walk, reduced quite an amount of weight and got fitter.

My school was only half a kilometers away from home. From an early age I started going to school by myself. My studies and the parent-teacher meetings were always seen by my grandfather. Thus the things looked after by my father during my school days were-- to pay the fees, buy me the uniform and the books and to sign the report cards.

I knew this was not a positive image I was building of my father until one day when something unusual happened. I had to complete a Hindi essay on "India's growing Population" and had got a remark of 'incomplete work' by my teacher in the notebook. I used to complete all my home-works before having dinner. But that day I was sitting with my copy till 11pm. Papa came into my room, asked why I was still awake and saw that 'incomplete work' remark in my copy. I said, "Papa I have to complete this essay and I am not getting any ideas to write." My father is an exceptional writer, a good speaker and a great intellectual. So much so that one can give him any topic in Hindi to write and he will fill pages. Hence, an essay on India's population was child's play for him. He sat near me and dictated each word of the essay. I still remember its first line- "Kehte hain Bharat mei har varsh ek Australia janm leta hai". I couldn't in my dreams think of such a line. He dictated me and went to sleep. Reading the whole essay from first to last I was like hats-off, what an essay! I received a 'very-good' remark the other day under the essay and I showed it to papa. He just smiled.

Another instance happened when our school was taking students for a tour to Mumbai-Goa. Mummy and Didi had already rejected my plea as they thought a seventh standard boy was too small to go to a school trip as Didi had gone to such a trip for the first time when she was in 11th class. The file then shifted to my father's desk. Now his signature was what I needed to give a company to my other friends who were going. He agreed. He agreed the moment I asked him! He said, "chhota hai to kya hua? Akela nahi jayega to seekhega kaise!" Like today's modern children, at that time we did not carry mobile phones or tablets with us. During the tour when I called home from a P.C.O., papa picked the call and said, "Kaisa hai betu? Kahan-kahan ghoom rahe ho?!" Papa had not called me "betu" before that. I was teary-eyed in happiness. My fear gradually shifted to respect and love for him.    

With the daily 'Dainik Bhaskar', 'Baal-Bhaskar' supplement for children used to come. One day there was an advertisement in it of a competition being held by 'Cartoon Network'- 'Powerpuff Generation'. Behind the ad there was a form to fill by the children under 15 years of age to participate in that competition which gave the winners a chance to host a popular cartoon show on Cartoon Network kids channel. I used to solve the crosswords and puzzles which came in Baal-Bhaskar and always kept a pen in my hand while reading it. Thus I filled that form also just for fun. Watching the ads of the competition on TV, I realized its genuineness and thought to submit that form on the given address. I asked papa to submit it at the given place as it was on the same route by which he used to go to the city. He read my form before dropping it in the box and appreciated me that I had filled it very creatively. It was quite a happy co-incidence that on my birthday I got a call from Cartoon Network, Mumbai. They said that my form had been selected and I needed to give an audition. Suddenly my 14th birthday turned more special. Somewhere in his mind Papa knew that I would get selected.   I gave auditions, cleared them. I was called Mumbai for the shooting and received 2 flight tickets, free stay and food at a good 4-star hotel, all being sponsored by the channel. Papa was so happy, he left all his works and came with me for the shoot. He took my photographs in the hotel, went with me everywhere the channel guys were taking us. Even waited at the studio for my shoot to complete as parents were not allowed to see the kids when the shooting took place. I could see happiness on his face which I had not seen before when the channel's cameraman was busy taking my photographs. I asked the cameraman to take a picture of me and papa too with our camera. Returning home, papa made sure that every newspaper publishes my news as I was the only kid from North-India to get selected in that competition.

Papa took us to places during the holidays without bothering much about money. We measured almost all of the country's amazing destinations. Darjeeling, Gangtok, Nainital, Pachmarhi, Goa and many other places. I wish I could go with mummy-papa to Malaysia-Singapore and Kashmir as well. He has always worked to give us a better status of living. Be it computer, HD TV or installing new electronics in our house to buying us expensive things, he never hesitated in doing it. Now I can proudly say to my friends that both of my parents are on 'Whatsapp' and possess 'facebook' accounts.

There were many other things that I could attain because of my father. He had been a huge follower of music, still is, and is himself a great singer. Even when he sings inside the bathroom, his voice echoes and goes straight into one's heart. No doubt he is the best bathroom singer ever. He has won many singing competitions and both I and my sister got singing voices in our genes because of him. We could also get the experience of singing as chorus in a 'Bhajan' cassette in which he was the lead singer. He kept a guruji for us to teach classical music, kept another guruji so that I could learn tabla, and took me to his Guru to teach me how to play guitar. Because of all this, both of his children won many singing competitions and got praise in school/college. I became popular in my school just because I could sing. Now whenever we two go by car somewhere, and any new song plays on F.M., papa is the first to sing along with it.

I could clear the All India Radio theatre auditions also just because he motivated us right from the beginning to take part in several functions at the society and school level. The 'Akashvaani' people gave me cheques of Rs.150/- which was my first pay. Papa opened my bank account during that time.

He never forced his opinions on his children and will never do so! He did not tell either of us what to opt for at the higher secondary. He did not tell what subject to take at the graduation level. He was clear in his mind that let children take their own decisions of what they want to do in their lives. As a result of his motivation, Didi could do well as a Radio Jockey before her marriage. Also, I could top every semester at my college during my B.J.M.C.

Yes! One thing he always told me whenever he saw me wasting time on computer games or watching T.V. that I should use my creative skills to a greater extent and that advertising industry is doing quite good these days and is always in search of creative people. I ignored him that time and did not realize the importance of the direction he wanted to give me. After completing my mass communication and journalism, so many options got opened in front of me which not only confused me but started depressing me also that what I am going to do! Suddenly his saying flashed in my mind. I filled the forms of all the top colleges which had advertising courses. Papa motivated me at every step from filling the forms to dropping me at the station so that I could go to Delhi or Bhopal where the exam centres were. I remember we ran together on the platform to catch the train when the coach was far away from where we were waiting. A 53-year-old heart patient ran at the same speed at which a 21-year-old  was running.

After my admission in Bhopal, we searched for rooms in heavy rain. Papa's way of talking to the different landlords was so socially correct that an unknown lady was ready to help us and gave her number to us. I couldn't have searched for my accommodation without papa that day as I cannot talk to people like the way he does. I don't know why I didn't attain this quality through the family genes. We had not eaten anything since morning and rested only after I had found a room. During the night also he was worried about how I will get settled in that room, what things I needed to buy as I had left home for the first time for studies. When he finally dropped me at my PG, seeing me off he said everything is going to be fine. I was about to cry and I knew he was also holding his emotions and he went away. That was the day I came to know how much I loved him!

From calling me every day, asking how everything is going to telling me what's going on back home, from fulfilling my every wish, whether big or small, to narrating me the episode of "24", papa has been and is with me every time and we gradually developed such a bond over time that now we can easily discuss things that we couldn't do before, which makes me feel that yes I am the son of the house.

You have supported me at every step and done whatever you could do for me! I promise, in future, no matter how successful/unsuccessful I become, I will proudly say that I am the son of Mr. Sanjay Maheshwari!

Love you Papa!

Happy Birthday!